Protecting Your Peace: 7 Tips for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and tradition, but it can also be a source of stress, overwhelm and even emotional strain. Between navigating family dynamics, packed schedules, and the pressure to "be thankful," it’s easy to lose connection with our peace and sense of well-being. Here are seven practical steps to protect your peace and set healthy boundaries this Thanksgiving.

1. Start with Self-Compassion

Thanksgiving often comes with high expectations—perfect meals, perfect conversations, perfect family time. Remember, it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. In fact, you can count on things not going perfectly. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that you don’t need to shoulder everything or please anyone. Consider reminding yourself that you are doing what you can where you can and that you can tolerate the “noise” of expectations without having to fulfill them or shoulder responsibilities that are not yours to carry.

2. Set Clear Boundaries in Advance

Whether it’s deciding how long you’ll stay at a gathering or what topics are off-limits, setting boundaries is essential. Let family members know what works for you. Hold in mind that boundaries aren’t about keeping people out—they’re about preserving your energy and peace. We have no control over whether or not others respect our boundaries. We can set clear boundaries and should also remind ourselves that we are free to disengage or leave if others are not respecting the boundaries we have communicated.

3. Take Breaks as Needed

It’s okay to step away if the environment becomes overwhelming. Go for a walk, spend a few minutes in a quiet room, snuggle a pet or excuse yourself the restroom to try and get grounded during times of high energy and/or high discomfort and sensory overload.

Grounding Exercise: Start by inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth 3 times.

Look around you and identify 5 things you can see. They can be objects nearby or in the distance. Be as specific as possible.

Focus on 4 things you can physically feel. This could include sensations from your body or objects around you.

Close your eyes if it helps, and listen carefully to your surroundings. Identify 3 distinct sounds.

Notice 2 scents around you. If you can’t smell anything, identify smells you like or remember.

Focus on 1 thing you can taste. If you’re not eating or drinking anything, try to notice the taste in your mouth or imagine a flavor you enjoy.

Take one more slow, deep breath, and notice how your body feels more relaxed and grounded.

4. Say No Without Guilt

If hosting or attending an event feels like too much, give yourself permission to say no. Your mental health matters more than keeping up appearances. It’s better to set limits than to burn out. Consider texting or calling a safe and trusted person if you could use some support and validation in saying no.

5. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control how others behave, but you can control your response. Remember that we are unasvlke to respond when in a reactivate state. Take some time to disengage, get grounded and then respond rather than react. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for how you decide to do the holidays. Focus on your own feelings, needs, and boundaries. Continue to release the need to fix every situation or make everyone happy.

6. Consider Simplifying and the Creation of New Holiday Traditions

If traditional Thanksgiving celebrations feel like too much, it’s okay to simplify. Whether it’s scaling down the menu, hosting a potluck instead of cooking everything yourself, or skipping large gatherings altogether, simplifying can reduce stress and create space for peace and joy. Traditions are meant to serve us, not the other way around. Thanksgiving carries a complex and troubling history, rooted in the colonization of Indigenous lands and the suffering endured by Indigenous people, which is often overlooked in traditional celebrations. Give yourself permission to reimagine Thanksgiving in a way that feels meaningful to you and that honors Indigenous people. This could also be a good time to start new traditions that align with your values and bandwidth.

For instance, you might try:

• Hosting a casual “Friendsgiving” with a small group.

• Spending the day volunteering or giving back.

• Skipping the big meal and doing a family movie marathon with takeout instead.

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By prioritizing your mental health and setting boundaries, you can create a holiday experience that feels authentic and manageable. ..and possibly enjoyable. Protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it is a human need. It’s a gift to yourself and those around you to be clear. Clear is kind. Wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with warmth, gentleness, and most importantly, peace.